Festageddon 2016 IV

  • This report is a part of the following series: Festageddon 2016.
  • This piece was written over a year ago. It may no longer accurately reflect my views now, or may be factually outdated.

We ate quite well but eating all the food groups again is such a nice thing.

I’m done. Festageddon 2016 is done.

#12 Moondance Festival, London (GB)

Owen James & T Chung, Timez, Lady T, Liam D, Bobby & Steve, Major Movements

Another last-minute one, with my press pass being issued only a couple days before the event. I rushed down to London straight from a house party the night before, bottle of gin still in my bag. Alas, my intended +1 (and house-haver, where I’d planned to drop my bag off) had been out the night before too and didn’t wake up until 15:30, with press accreditation closing at 16:00. After a couple hours in Stratford International franctically messaging every groupchat and person I thought might live in London for somewhere to leave the bag, I eventually came to the realisation that I was flying solo, and that I had a couple hours to polish off as much of the gin as I could before I went in. Which turned out to be quite a lot.

And the press tent had a free crate of Red Stripe going.

And when I eventually left and found myself at the +1’s house in Hackney (after a 2-hour journey I remember none of), we cracked open a bottle of prosecco.

It was a messy night.

#13 Gravity Fields, Grantham (GB)

IOU Theatre, Ponten Pie

After the summer of unbridled hedonism that had just been (perhaps epitomised by that last story), I thought I’d end with something more dignified and low-key: a family-aimed science festival to celebrate the 350th anniversary of Isaac Newton’s annus mirabilis.

So I found myself first stewarding at a sculptural sound installation called Speaking Tubes, where a comment in the children’s feedback book made me wonder if we should just ban everyone from the internet until they’re 16 for the future’s sake:


Followed by stewarding at a peculiar and secretive piece called ÂRTICA, described as a non-conventional show, without text, where the theatrical experience becomes a sensitive adventure and hosted in a building kept at 6°C for reasons I’m not entirely sure about. It was certainly intriguing – I want to describe it, but I’m not sure I’d know where to start. Go check it out if you see it near you.

In Numbers

Festivals Attended

Companies Worked For

Money on July 1st

Money on September 30th

Acts Seen
189, across 187 distinct artists, 148 of which I’d never heard of before

Countries Visited
3-4, depending on whether Scotland is still in the UK by the time you read this

This whole map'll be green one of these days
This whole map’ll be green one of these days



Most Best Festival

Least Best Festival

Best Food

Worst Food
T in the Park

Best-Seeming Company to Work For, Determined Solely By Cuteness of Stewards

Best souvenir
My sign from Sziget:

Next year I move up to the main stage

Best Weather
Tie: Latitude or Sziget

Worst Weather
Tie: T in the Park or Festival № 6

Most Gutted Missed Act
[before Sziget] Die Antwoord at Secret Solstice
[after Sziget] Camo & Krooked at Bestival

Best Crowd

Worst Crowd
Sound City

Most Unfortunate Human Being I’ve Ever Met
This guy at Bestival that we ran into at 7am on the way back from our shift:

I wince every time I remember it
I wince every time I remember it

Next Year’s Plan

More festivals, more countries, more acts – and bring a GoPro. I’ve got an idea.


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